How I Met Your Pop Star's Mom

How I Met Your Mother

Episode 313: “Ten Sessions”
CBS; Mondays at 8:30 p.m., aired March 24. Starring Josh Radnor,
Jason Segel, Neil Patrick Harris,
Alyson Hannigan and Cobie Smulders.
Synopsis: Ted is repeatedly snubbed in his attempts to get a date with Stella (Sarah Chalke), his dermatologist, but her receptionist, Abby (Britney Spears), becomes infatuated with him.


BY MAT HERRON & SARA HAVENS

Mat: So here we are, contributing to the mountain of Britney coverage. And to think, I was just beginning to like this column.

Sara: Wait. What? Britney was on this week’s episode? I had no idea.

Mat: Maybe I’m taking this way too seriously, but when I first heard of her cameo, I thought it reeked of a publicity stunt. Then I read Rolling Stone’s cover story, the one where the Associated Press circulated a memo that said everything she does is news … insane.

Her role on this show isn’t funny — eh, a little — it’s creepy. Her line “When people yell at me, I start crying,” had an eerie truth to it; and running after Ted (Josh Radnor) at the end reinforced her image as a desperate pop star.

Sara: I disagree. I didn’t think she did half bad with the few lines she was given. Of course I thought Sarah Chalke ran circles around her, but that’s how the characters were written. I don’t think this is the big Britney comeback that everyone is predicting. Since when is a guest appearance on a half-hour sitcom a comeback? How about an album, Brit? Or maybe try getting your kids back first.

Mat: Not a comeback per se, but celebs do drop in all the time. Ever watch “Friends”? I read that she’s auctioning her wardrobe from the show. Spending $700,000 a month must be taking its toll on the pocketbook. Time for a new record, indeed.

Sara: But one quick sidenote: Who was expecting a pop princess showdown between Ms. Spears and Robin Sparkle? If you didn’t tune in last year, Robin (Cobie Smulders) revealed a childhood secret to the gang that she was a huge Canadian pop star in her teens. I believe her hit song was “Let’s Go To The Mall,” which I still listen to on my iPod. She’s even one of my MySpace friends!

Mat: Stay on topic, Havens. We’re talking about this week. Do you suffer from feliculafelia?

Sara: Definitely not! I think facial hair — well, body hair in general — is scary. Only a few can truly pull it off. Jack on “Lost” is one of them.

Mat: Thanks to “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle,” Neil Patrick Harris will always be a coke-snorting gigolo who prefers his ladies topless. Waiting an entire year to pull a mustache prank does take patience and cunning, though. I might have to borrow that trick.

Sara: He’ll always be Doogie Howser to me.

Mat: If I ever hear that keyboard sound again, it’ll be too soon. Chalke’s appearance is endearing, but her character on this show wishes it was as whip smart as “Scrubs.”

Sara: She’ll always be Becky No. 2 to me.

Drop us a line at leo@leoweekly.com or check out our TV blog at cableboxing.blogspot.com

What happened to Big Bird?

On "Survivor" last night, my favorite contestant, Kathleen, just up and left. She didn't even get voted off! The rain and lack of soap seemed to get the best of her. I think she should have stuck in there and at least volunteered to get voted off next time her team lost. But instead, she cried SOS and Jeff Probst came to her rescue. Hope whatever is back home for her was worth leaving the show abruptly.

Now who do I root for? James? —Sara Havens

"The Return" of Posey and Ambrose

The Return of Jezebel James

Episodes: “Pilot” & “Frankenstein Baby”
FOX; Fridays at 8 p.m., aired March 14. Starring Parker Posey, Lauren Ambrose, Scott Cohen, Michael Arden and Dianne Wiest.
Synopsis: Sarah, a single children’s book editor, reconnects with her slacker sister, Coco, in this half-hour comedy. Sarah wants to have a baby but is unable to conceive, so she asks younger sis Coco to carry her child. (tvguide.com)

BY MAT HERRON & SARA HAVENS

Mat: I liked this. Tightly written, funny, I didn’t lose interest once.

Sara: Yes, it was pretty good for a Friday night sitcom. But how many people are actually watching television on a Friday night? I guess in this TiVo age, it doesn’t matter as long as you remember to set it.
It’s being touted with the tagline: “From the creator of ‘Gilmore Girls.’” But I’m just happy to see Parker Posey land a good gig. And Lauren Ambrose has been missing since HBO buried “Six Feet Under” in 2005.

Mat: Ah, Lauren Ambrose. My neurotic crush Claire has returned. Still neurotic, still hilarious. But she’s got nothing on Posey. Who knew she could kill on network television?

Sara: Did you see her film “The Oh in Ohio” a few years back? Good stuff. I thought she did a great job here as the overanxious yuppie Sarah — who has everything going for her except a fully functioning uterus. Enter her estranged sister Coco (what’s up with that name?), whose oven, we assume, is self-cleaning.

Mat: Your thoughts on the surrogate mother thing? Makes me glad I’m male.

Sara: No thanks. I may love you, but I don’t looove you, if you know what I’m sayin’. Nine months of pain, vomiting and sobriety and you don’t even get to keep the prize at the end? Pass. I’m not even sure I fully bought her character’s desire to have a child. Seemed like once she found out she couldn’t get pregnant, she made it her mission to find a surrogate.
I did enjoy the cartwheel gag, though. When the doctor tells Sarah she can’t conceive, she remembers cheerleading tryouts — they told her she couldn’t land a cartwheel, and she practiced until she finally could. So why should this not-having-a-baby thing be any different?

Mat: Biology has a certain, shall we say, hold on willpower, though. I took gymnastics when I was a kid, and I am here to say that cartwheels are, in fact, a pain in the ass, back, arms and, well, I’m just out of shape …
Dianne Wiest is enjoying a nice creative jag. “In Treatment” and now this. Her character’s voice couldn’t be more nails-on-a-chalkboard irritating, but that seems to be the point.

Sara: Oh, yeah, the mom from “Footloose” is in this show! Bonus.

Mat: Everybody cut, everybody cut.

Drop us a line at leo@leoweekly.com or check out our TV blog at cableboxing.blogspot.com

"The Wire" is gone but not forgotten

BY MAT HERRON & SARA HAVENS

The Wire
Episode 60: “—30—”
HBO, Series finale, aired March 9. Starring Dominic West, Wendell Pierce, Clark Johnson, Lance Reddick, Sonja Sohn, Clarke Peters and Seth Gilliam.

Synopsis: Carcetti maps out a damage-control scenario with the police brass in the wake of a startling revelation from Pearlman and Daniels. Their choice: Clean up the mess ... or hide the dirt. Bubbles debates whether to greenlight a newspaper story about his life; Dukie seeks out an old mentor for a loan; Marlo oversees a new co-op order as he maps out his next move. As the officers stage an Irish wake for another dearly departed officer, the seeds of the future are sown throughout Baltimore. (HBO.com)

Sara: “The Wire” has come to an end. It’s the talk of the town, and for good reason. HBO should be commended once again for providing quality TV programming. In a country where the naming of the most recent “Dancing With The Stars” contestants gets higher billing than the Democratic primaries or the war in Iraq, it’s good to hear that such a groundbreaking show made such an impact. That being said, I never watched the show, I’m sorry to say. So Sunday night’s series finale was my first. Think of it as skipping to the end before starting a book — I definitely plan on consuming all five seasons this spring.

Mat: Shame on you. As punishment, you will buy all the series’ DVDs when they come out. And watch the extras. And the credits. For each episode. But at least you’re watching. If it isn’t already, “The Wire” should be required viewing for Metro Mayor Jerry Abramson, Police Chief Robert White and Commonwealth Attorney David Stengel, and whoever else is involved in adjudicating crime in Louisville. We’re not lily white, either.

Sara: Seemed like everyone had their paws in some dirty business — from the cops to the city government officials to the newspapermen. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction.

Mat: Yeah, everyone covers his or her own keister, but that’s the great aspect of “The Wire.” It doesn’t skew toward the overdriven “Entourage,” or the dearly departed “Sopranos” — “The Wire” is about exploring gray areas. Conflicts start but are not resolved. Like, you know, in real life. Co-creator David Simon, a former Baltimore Sun reporter, shows his contempt for the state of newspapers today, while showing that real press peeps (like Clark Johnson’s character) don’t chase glory like a paparazzi chases Britney Spears.

Sara: Yes — in one of the last scenes, Gus (Johnson) looked around his dwindling newsroom and said, “The pond is getting smaller and the fish are getting nervous.” Loved the stark scenes of the Baltimore cityscape throughout. Some showed the beauty of the eastern city, while others revealed the grit that lies beneath postcard views.

Mat: Baltimore is depressing, and the characters’ behavior is a function of that. Maybe they need a Museum Plaza. Or a new arena. Hey, the Cordish Co. is based there. Oh, wait …

Drop us a line at leo@leoweekly.com or check out our TV blog at cableboxing.blogspot.com

'October Road' jumps on the Speedwagon for season finale

Did anyone see last night's two-hour season finale of "October Road"? Is anyone besides me watching this show? I actually like it, believe it or not. It's definitely got some storyline challenges, but the characters are pretty well-developed and well-rounded. They haven't said whether it'll return next season, but I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Regardless of whether Nick will ever reunite with Hannah and find out that the kid is his -- the show has some of the best music in primetime TV. Loved the last scene in last night's episode where the guys were air-banding to REO Speedwagon's "Roll With The Changes." What a great song. And last week's episode incorporated Skid Row's "I Remember You" throughout the characters' flashbacks to a younger, innocent time.

I'd really like to see that guy get out of the house sometime, too. He and Pizza Girl are cute together, but he needs to get over his issues. —Sara Havens

'L Word' renewed for one last season, kinda

It was just announced that Showtime's "The L Word" has been renewed for a sixth season, which will be its last. Unfortunately, only eight episodes are planned, as opposed to the usual 10 or 12 that make up a full season. "The L Word" is Showtime's longest running original series ("Queer as Folk" only made it five seasons).

For fans of the show, the news solicited mixed reactions. I'm glad that it will be returning in early 2009. However, I'm skeptic that it can be wrapped up in just eight episodes.

Here are some hopes for what Season 6 may hold --

-Let's keep Bette and Tina together this season, shall we?
-Get Erin Daniels back on board and have her play Dana in flashbacks ... or as a randy ghost forever haunting Alice.
-Have Shane cut her hair. (OK, only kidding)
-May Jenny find true love she's so desperately seeking.
-Give Alice her own TV show.
-And bring back Helena and Papi and Ivan.

Just some ideas. Am I missing anything else? —Sara Havens

"The Captain" and its "Melrose Place" ties

Welcome to The Captain
Episode 5: “Mr. Big Meeting”
CBS, Mondays, 8:30 p.m., aired March 3. Starring Fran Kranz, Chris Klein, Jeffrey Tambor, JoAnna Garcia, Raquel Welch, Al Madrigal and Valerie Azlynn.
Synopsis: After Marty lands Josh a meeting with the president of Paramount, Uncle Saul insists on helping him with his pitch. Also, while Jesus is busy checking the building’s smoke detectors, Astrid stands in for him at the front desk.

BY MAT HERRON & SARA HAVENS


Sara: OK, so let me get this straight. This show revolves around a legendary, high-end, L.A. apartment building where most of the residents are up-and-coming or has-been stars. “Melrose Place” it is not, unfortunately. But for a half-hour sitcom, it was pretty entertaining. Fran Kranz aptly leads the small cast. He’s like the “guy next door” who’s not really cool, but you don’t mind using him for his Guitar Hero, or making him watch “Dirty Dancing” on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Mat: Only in L.A. would a plot like this make sense, but it’s good to see Jeffrey Tambor still working. His role as crooked George Bluth Sr. on “Arrested Development” is one of the funniest characters ever. The “Box of Endings” gag is the kind of layered humor sitcoms need. Do writers reach into said box when they’re stuck? I don’t doubt it. How else could you explain “Independence Day” or “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines”?

Sara: Yes, Tambor’s role as Uncle Saul is great. I love how he continuously drops his “Three’s Company” ties. I also like the Josh/Hope relationship dynamic. He’s madly in love with her. She’s got a boyfriend. Will they ever transition from neighbors to lovers? Looking at the rate of success for sitcoms, probably not before this show gets scrapped.

Mat: Maybe, unlike FOX, CBS will let this show run for a minute. It’s got potential. Oh, they’ll hook up, but it won’t last. Could you see the way Hope ogled him when she asked if the couple in his screenplay wound up together in the end? She’s into him, and he knows it.

Sara: Typical guy response. There’s a fine line between being cordial to someone and wanting to jump their bones. Hope’s still trying to figure him out — he’s too nice to have a fling with and too dorky to leave her boyfriend for. A rock and a hard place.

Mat: Ladies never fall for the nice guy. It’s an arcane mentality that continues to mess with the natural order of the universe. Dorky is charming, but Hope just has to wake up and realize Josh is her ticket to romance. Or at least the Oscars.

Sara: Can we get back to “Melrose Place” for a second here? Tell me, who were your favorites? Billy/Alison? Jo/Jake? Ooohhh, what about Amanda/Peter/Kimberly? Not since “Golden Girls” had apartment living been so rousing.

Mat: Betty White doesn’t exactly turn me on, and as a general rule, threesomes are always better.

Drop us a line at leo@leoweekly.com or check out our TV blog at cableboxing.blogspot.com