"The Paper" is Eazy-er said than dunn

The Paper

Premiere Episode
MTV; Mondays at 10:30 p.m., aired April 14. Starring Amanda, Alex, Adam, Giana, Trevor and Mrs. Weiss.
Synopsis: For many soon-to-be seniors at Cypress Bay High School in Weston, Fla., it’s time to battle it out for the position of editor-in-chief of The Circuit. But only one will score the top slot. See what it takes to build an editorial team and run an award-winning paper.

BY MAT HERRON & SARA HAVENS

Sara: I love the “The Paper”! I’m definitely hooked, and it’s all because of Amanda. She’s nerdy yet confident. Bossy but unaffected. The others talk behind her back — and right to her face, actually — and it doesn’t seem to bother her. How does she do it? And I love her opening line: “Journalists are the most important part of the world.” So true.

Mat: “Watch out world, here comes Amanda” is one of those sentiments that, frankly, inspires only the finest vomit. I’m sure working at The Circuit feels really important to these kids right now, but it’s hard to imagine their antics translating to a professional newsroom. Do you think it would be cool if we all got in a huddle and started chanting “LEO”?

Sara: You know, it’s not a bad idea. I also think we should borrow their tactic of handing out papers via being pushed on a dolly. Do you want top or bottom?

Mat: We would save money on gas, and I do need the exercise. I don’t know why there’s such a “race” to be editor. I was editor of my high school newspaper, and it wasn’t glamorous. I sure as hell didn’t sing about laying out page 1.

Sara: Well, you are the music editor. I’d like to hear some Nickelback from you next time you finish up your music pages. Meanwhile, I’ll break into some Eazy-E when the A&E pages are checked. Now how do we get the others to play along? Gimmie that, gimmie that, gimmie that NYT Crossword Puzzle!

Mat: Canada — and commercial radio — should apologize for Nickelback. As should you for even uttering the name.
This show proves journalists can’t be actors. Can you believe Amanda when she says, “Procrastination is a foe that I have not met yet”? Wait until college, when you discover the concept of cramming. Procrastination will be your best friend. As will coffee.

Sara: And don’t forget bourbon, No-Doz and Marlboro Lights.

Mat: “Cream of bitch” = best line. Quite literary. Did you find it weird that the all the past editors’ first names began with the letter A?

Sara: If it was a precursor for Amanda getting the “in-chief” position, then no, I found nothing weird with it at all. I’d like to see Adam get his emotions in check. Ritalin anyone?

Mat: Yeah, he’s got ADD written all over him. In the future, he’ll probably wind up a CEO or hedge fund manager. His off-site pow-wow with the other staffers over how Amanda will ruin the paper shows a knack for the diabolical.
The air’s gonna leak out of this tire pretty quick, though. MTV says they “found” this staff, even though they posted a casting notice on realitywanted.com last year, which makes the show’s appeal, if you wanna call it that, ring hollow. All these docu-dorks are gonna overact so they can parlay their roles into careers in show business. Nothing wrong with that, just don’t be surprised if this Circuit shorts out. Once senior year hits, you care less about punctuation and grammar and more about hitting the nearest keg party.

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