BY MAT HERRON & SARA HAVENS
The Real World XX: Hollywood
Episode 6: “Greg vs. The House”
MTV; Wednesdays at 10 p.m., aired May 21.
Synopsis: After hearing his roommates do a confessional about him, Greg realizes that he doesn’t like most of the roommates. Kimberly admits to having feelings for Dave. Dave meets Justine and brings her back to the house, which upsets Kimberly. Will, knowing that Sarah has a boyfriend, kisses her anyway. Sarah’s boyfriend Ryan comes for a visit.
Sara: What the hell happened to my favorite show? I used to look so forward to a new “Real World” every year. Remember the good old days? Eric and Julie in New York? Jon and Beth O. in L.A.? Pedro and Puck in San Fran? Julie and Melissa in New Orleans? Seems like ever since the Vegas season, it’s now about watching gorgeous, brain-dead youngsters get drunk, fornicate and fight with each other.
Mat: This is kind of like watching your weird aunt die after a slow, painful existence. The progenitor of reality shows as we know it just can’t sustain itself. It’s become a grumpy, sleazy, cheating hooker who doesn’t know when to quit.
Sara: Even if it burns when she pees?
So let me get this straight — Kim likes Dave. Dave likes Kim’s body. Dave brings home another girl and seduces her with a stuffed rooster. Kim gets pissed. Why am I still watching again?
Mat: You haven’t gone through the three stages of grief yet: watch, gag, change channel. The girl whom Dave seduced? Judging from the looks of her, he didn’t have to try that hard.
Sara: So everyone hates Greg, aka “The Chosen One.” Hmmm … can’t see why, he’s a charmer — hides rocks in his roommates’ beds, steals Sarah’s underwear, refers to his female friends as “associates.” Classy. An excerpt from his confessional: “I am in the house with crazy fuckers. But again, I’m not gonna crack. I am a fuckin’ diamond. Diamond does not crack, it cuts.”
Mat: Suddenly, living in a Hollywood mansion is akin to “Survivorman.” What? You live in California. You get paid to drink and screw. What’s the problem with that? Other than it indicates your incessant need for attention.
Sara: Sarah’s nerdy boyfriend needs to grow a pair. Would you cower in your boxers as your hot girlfriend went toe-to-toe with a nut-job like Greg?
Mat: Of course, but that’s because I’m a veritable ninja. I think he handled it the right way. As long Greg doesn’t hit her, I’d let her tear him up for a few rounds.
Sara: So when does the seventh roommate get back from rehab? This blows. We need more violent, 3 a.m. wall-punchings.
Mat: As a former smoker, I had to stay aware of my “triggers,” things that would make me wanna light up. No. 7 would do well to stay away from the house. Then again, if he relapsed and pummeled one of his roommates, he could say, “MTV made me do it.” We’re not talking about responsible adults here.
Sara: Even if it burns when you pee?
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