Battlestar Geektactica

BY JON BEAZLIE & BEN SCHNEIDER

Battlestar Galactica

Season 4, Episode 9: “The Hub”
Sci-Fi, Fridays, 10 p.m., aired June 6. Starring Edward James Olmos, Mary McDonnell, Katee Sackhoff, Jamie Bamber, James Callis and Tricia Helfer.
Synopsis: In pursuit of the enemy’s Resurrection Hub, a misfit team of Viper pilots and Cylon rebels become uneasy collaborators in formulating a battleplan.

Note: Ever since this column’s inception, editorial designer Ben “Buddy” Schneider and production coordinator Jon Beazlie have begged to geek up this space with “Battlestar” banter. Well, Mat Herron and I stay pretty busy on Friday nights, so instead of staying in and subjecting ourselves to this Sci-Fi show, we thought we’d give up the space to them this week. Nerds unite! —Sara Havens

Ben: OK, two major problems going in … first, I object to the “geek” and “nerd” words being tossed around with all the implied baggage of irrelevance and social inadequacy. Those derogatory labels are never applied to people who skip work for a month to sit in front of a TV during March Madness. No, a typical sports fan who dresses head-to-toe in UK basketball gear is considered “normal” when he or she goes out in public. But take that exact same person and glue some fake Spock ears on his head — then see what happens.

Secondly, even though the show airs on Friday night, I usually watch it Saturday morning while nursing my hangover. Thanks to this thing called the Internet, I can pretty much watch the show in the sunshine.

Jon: That’s right, those of us who don’t spend a gabillion dollars a month on cable fees have to resort to “ye ol’ ’letric Internet” to watch BSG on the Sci-Fi website, or search other sites to get our “man stories” the Blackbeard way. Arrrggghhh! Wait … maybe I am a geek? Hold on, I think the Feds are at my door …

Ben: Now, all that being said, I just need to add one thing: Oh my gods, have you seen this show? Holy frak, this is the best thing that’s ever been on TV ever! And I’ve watched “The L Word”!

Jon: “Gods” meaning the humans in this series believe in a polytheistic structure of religion, like the ancient Greeks, and “frak,” meaning, well … fuck. You see kids, the writers of this show get away with swearing on regular old TV by changing the word a little. It’s a little campy, but one of the ways the writers kept the feel of the original, late ’70s BSG. You get used to it. I remember my mom not liking the fact that they said “frak” back then, but she bought me BSG curtains and bed sheets. Who’s to say, maybe I peed on Lorne Greene?!?! Hold on, I think my therapist is at my door …

Ben: Of course the real problem in trying to write a column about “Galactica” is not saying anything about it. New viewers really shouldn’t watch it now because the show is in the middle of its fourth and final season — nearly all of the surprises have been revealed. “Galactica” is similar to “Lost” in a way, because the show has been one long continuing story, and the real joy of it has been watching the characters develop (and die) over the past four seasons.
It would be like telling someone who has never seen “Titanic” that it’s the best film ever made, but insisting they start watching at the moment the ship breaks apart in the water.

Jon: I agree. It’s really not your typical “Nerds in Space” drama. In the past four seasons, I’ve seen death, bloodshed and T&A comparable to a Tarantino movie. A Cylon downloads to a new body after death, so some of the characters get “offed” in numerous, bloody ways. Ships don’t fire lasers but bullets. Heavy artillery consists of anti-aircraft shrapnel, rockets and nuclear weapons. Old technology is good technology. Did I mention the HOT cybernetic chicks ready to kill a mother-fraker? Hey, Ben, I think we are geeks.

Geek out with Jon and Buddy at leo@leoweekly.com or comment at cableboxing.blogspot.com